The ‘Why’ of Sexual Abuse in the Church

(Twenty-first Sunday of the Year (B): This homily was given on August 26, 2018 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I., by Fr. Raymond Suriani.  Read Joshua 24: 1-18b; Psalm 34; Ephesians 5: 21-32; John 6: 60-69.)

[For the audio link to this homily, click here: Twenty-first Sunday 2018]

It’s always tragic when people walk away from Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

It was tragic when the rich young man did it after our Lord challenged him to give up his possessions and become a disciple.

It was tragic when the people who heard the Bread of Life Discourse walked away, as we were told they did in today’s gospel reading from John 6: “As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.”

But it’s even more tragic when people walk away from Jesus Christ because of the scandalous and sinful behavior of Christians—especially members of the clergy.  When the rich young man walked away from Jesus he did it because of his materialism; when the people in John 6 walked away from Jesus they did it because their faith was weak.  But when those who’ve been abused by members of the clergy (Catholic or non-Catholic) walk away from Jesus Christ, they do so with a wound that cuts them to the core and undermines the very foundations of their faith.

It’s a wound, unfortunately, that does not easily heal.

Whenever I hear of the immoral and scandalous behavior of bishops, priests, and deacons of the Church (which has been quite often in recent weeks), I thank God for the blessings he gave me in my youth in protecting me from such things.  My mother was the secretary at my home parish—Holy Angels in Barrington.  I did maintenance work at the church as teenager; I was an altar boy; I was involved in CYO and youth ministry; I even taught CCD.  Consequently, I was around a lot of priests a lot of the time during my adolescent and young adult years.  Some of those priests you probably know: Fr. Giudice; Fr. Pat Rotondi (the pastor of Holy Angels at the time); Fr. Bob Evans (now Bishop Evans); Fr. Jim Verdelotti; Fr. Bob McManus (who’s now Bishop McManus of the Worcester diocese)—and many, many others.

Never did I have a bad experience with any of them.  Never!  They were good men who were very good to me.  I was totally comfortable around them.

For example, I can remember going into the rectory every once in a while (when I was taking a break from my maintenance work) and saying to my mom, “Would you please buzz Fr. Pat and see if he has time to hear my confession?”

So she’d buzz him on the intercom—and he normally would say yes (unless he was busy working on a homily or something else really important).  And I’d proceed to go up to the second floor into his private quarters, take a seat in his sitting room and make my confession.

Nowadays that kind of thing would never happen—and should never happen given the scandals of the last 20 years!—but back then I thought nothing of it.  Fr. Pat always treated me with respect and compassion—plus he was really smart and had a lot of wisdom.  I trusted him, and in this case my trust was well-placed.

That was typical of my experience of the priesthood in my youth.  It was almost all positive.

Well, unfortunately, as we all know, it hasn’t been that way for everybody.  All too many have been violated by despicable actions that should never have happened.  And even though this kind of abuse is rampant in every segment of our society right now (according to one study I read 14% of men and 32% of women in our country claim to have been sexually abused by some adult during their youth), that’s no excuse for the evil behavior of bishops, priests and deacons.  We preach chastity, and we’re supposed to live chastity.  It’s as simple as that.

And most, praise God, do live as they should—at least 96% do according to the 2004 study that was done by the John Jay College for Criminal Justice.  But, given the fact that we have about 35,000 priests in the United States right now (most people don’t realize there are that many priests in our country), even a small percentage of bad ones can do a lot of damage to a lot of people.

And they have.

What I want to share with you now is why we’re in this mess.  I’ve never shared this in a homily before, but I will now because it needs to be said.

You will hear from people (especially in the mainstream media) that the reason the Church has had to deal with these scandals in recent years is because the Church is old fashioned, the Church is out of date, the Church’s morality is oppressive, etc.  Their basic point is that for things to get better, the Church needs to accept modern, progressive ideas—especially regarding personal moral issues like contraception and abortion and homosexuality.  The Church, in other words, needs to “get with the rest of the world.”

That, my brothers and sisters, is totally, completely, 100% wrong.  The problem here is not that the Church needs to get with the world, the problem is that after the Second Vatican Council in the 1960s, a lot of people in the Church (clergy and laity alike) DID get with the world!!!  They embraced the morality of the sexual revolution, which was happening in American society at the very same time.

And many of the people who embraced these immoral ideas got PhDs and were given positions of authority in Catholic institutions like colleges and seminaries.  Some were (and are) members of the clergy, some were (and are) lay people.  This explains why some of you have sent your believing children off to Catholic colleges, only to have them come back four years later with no faith, and living the kind of lifestyle that would have made Hugh Hefner proud when he was alive.

It’s not a coincidence.

During the time when most of the abuse in the Church occurred (from the end of Vatican II in the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s) many seminaries were a mess.  Consequently any sinful tendencies seminarians had going in tended to be exacerbated.  Many, many seminarians were not taught to accept and live the teachings of the Church regarding faith and morals.  They weren’t taught the truth.  Quite oppositely, they were taught by their professors in their theology, psychology, sociology, history and even Scripture classes that everything in the Church was changing.  The Mass had changed, the fast and abstinence laws had changed, so these professors assured their seminarian students that in the very near future the Church’s moral teachings would change—so they just had to hang on and be patient for a little while.

It was a lie—a big lie!  And it was a big lie with terrible consequences.  It served to discourage a lot of good seminarians, sometimes causing them to leave the seminary; while, at the same time it encouraged a lot of bad seminarians (many of whom were active homosexuals) to stay and get ordained.

That’s why we’re in the mess we’re in right now. 

Now the good news is that the atmosphere in most seminaries has improved a great deal in the last 30 or so years.  Young priests today, generally speaking, have been well-screened, receive good formation and are taught the truth in their classes.

But the damage has already been done.

And we will probably reap the tragic consequences for some time to come.

So what should we do as faithful Catholic Christians in the face of all this?

Well, one thing we should not do is walk away from the Church, because, if we do that, in some sense we’re walking away from Jesus himself—since the Church is the Body of Christ.  The Church is also our spiritual mother; and you don’t abandon your mother when she’s sick.  And we need to try to remember that, in spite of the sins of her members, there is always great holiness in the Church.  That’s because Christ—and many saints—are always present in it.

And it’s through the Church that the grace of salvation comes to us from Jesus Christ.

Our attitude, ultimately, should be the attitude of Peter and the apostles at the end of John 6: “Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

That having been said, we should also do all we can to support the victims of these and similar crimes, regardless of where they experienced the abuse: at church, at school, at the doctor’s office, on a scouting trip, at a family picnic—wherever. 

And, of course, we should also pray for them, that they will ultimately find healing for their inner wounds, and in the process find their way back to the Body of Christ.

And please don’t forget to pray for those of us in priestly ministry who are trying to do it right, who are being faithful to our vows and promises—which is the majority.  We need your prayers because the bad guys have cast a dark shadow on all of us, and that can be very discouraging.

The bottom line is this, my brothers and sisters: A good, holy priest is Satan’s greatest enemy on this earth because he brings Christ sacramentally into the world; but a bad priest is Satan’s greatest ally.  These scandals have made that fact crystal clear.

Let me end this homily on a positive note, with some words from St. John Vianney, the patron saint of priests.  He’s speaking here in this text about good priests: those who are obedient, who are faithful, who do the Lord’s work quietly each and every day.  May God give us many more of them in the future.  St. John Vianney wrote:

O how great is the priest! If he realized what he is he would die… God obeys him: he utters a few words and the Lord descends from Heaven at his voice, to be contained within a small host. Without the Sacrament of Holy Orders, we would not have the Lord. Who put him there in the tabernacle? The priest. Who welcomed your soul at the beginning of life? The priest. Who feeds your soul and gives it strength for the journey? The priest. Who will prepare it to appear before God, bathing it one last time in the blood of Jesus Christ? The priest—always the priest. And if the soul should happen to die (as a result of sin) who will raise it up, who will restore its calm and peace? Again the priest. After God, the priest is everything. Only in heaven will he fully realize what he is.

HGTV’s ‘House Hunters’: A Metaphor for Life

(Assumption 2018: This homily was given on August 15, 2018 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I., by Fr. Raymond Suriani.  Read Revelation 11:19-12:10; Psalm 45; 1 Corinthians 15: 20-27; Luke 1: 39-46.)

[For the audio version of this homily, click here: Assumption 2018]

A 2016 article in the Washington Post called it “one of the most unlikely and unstoppable juggernauts on TV.”  The Post called it that because of its incredible popularity.  At the time 25 million people per month were watching it.  It wouldn’t surprise me if that number has increased in the last two years. 

I’m talking here about the House Hunters program on the HGTV network.

I confess that even I have been drawn into its “web” from time to time.  When I go to Barrington on my day off, every once in a while I’ll find my sister and my brother-in-law watching it—and invariably I’ll get hooked and end up watching it with them.

For those who might never have seen it, this is a reality show in which a couple or family searches for a new home.  In a typical episode, a local realtor presents the prospective buyers with three properties that meet their requirements and are priced within their budget.  Then, at the end of the show, the couple or family chooses one of the three to purchase.  Part of the fun of watching the show is trying to anticipate which property they’ll pick.

By the way, I almost always get it wrong.  I guess that’s one reason why I don’t sell real estate!

Fr. Ray, what does this have to do with Mary and the feast of the Assumption?

Actually, quite a bit.  It also has a lot to do with us.

You see, I have a theory as to why this program, House Hunters, is so popular.  This is just my idea; you can agree with it or disagree with it—but I think it’s true.

I really believe that House Hunters is as popular as it is, because the show is actually A METAPHOR FOR LIFE!

From one perspective, you could say that the purpose of this earthly life is for us to “choose a house”—a house that we will live in for all eternity!  Jesus himself indicated this in John 14 when he said, “In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.”

That’s one of the possible choices that we can make: to live in our heavenly Father’s house with Jesus Christ and all the saints for all eternity.

Of course, we can also make another choice: to live forever in another house—a house where it’s very hot (even a lot hotter than it’s been in Westerly in recent weeks).

And just like the couples on the House Hunters television program, we must make a choice!  It’s not optional.  The only difference is they have three houses to choose from on the TV show, but we have only two in life.

Today the Church celebrates the choice that Mary made.  That’s what the feast of the Assumption is all about.  “From this day all generations will call me blessed,” Mary said in her Magnificat.  (We heard that a few moments ago in our gospel reading.)  Because our Blessed Mother never sinned and was always obedient to God, she was blessed at the end of her earthly life by being taken up—soul and body—to the special “dwelling place” that God the Father had prepared for her in his incredibly big house. 

This is the common destiny of all those who leave this life in the state of grace—which is a group that will hopefully someday include all of us!  Although for us it will only happen at the resurrection of the dead at the end of time.  Mary’s soul was never separated from her body, even at the end of her earthly life.  Our souls, on the other hand, are separated from our bodies when we die.  Our bodies then go in the ground; our souls go either to hell or heaven (or to purgatory on their way to heaven).  It’s only at the end of time that our bodies will be raised up and become like the bodies of Jesus and Mary.

Therefore, what happened to our Blessed Mother 2,000 years ago when she was assumed into heaven is an anticipation of what will happen to the rest of the saved at the end of the world.

This should motivate us to examine our consciences each and every day so that we can identify and repent of our sins (if necessary by bringing them to the sacrament of Reconciliation).  In today’s meditation in the Magnificat prayer book, the author—a Carmelite nun from England—says this: “Jesus is what he is because of his life on earth, because he fulfilled to the last iota the Father’s will.  So also Mary is what she is because of her life on earth.  The glory, the holiness, which now shines resplendent in heaven was forged here below.”

Mary, in other words, chose the right house in eternity, by making the right choices in time.  May God help us to repent of our sins and to follow Mary’s example of holiness in our own lives here on earth, so that in the end we will also choose to live forever—body and soul—in the Father’s house and not the hell house.

Pope Paul VI’s ‘John 6 Moment’

Blessed Paul VI

(Seventeenth Sunday of the Year (B): This homily was given on July 29, 2018 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I., by Fr. Raymond Suriani.  Read 2 Kings 4: 42-44; Psalm 145: 10-18; Ephesians 4: 1-6; John 6: 1-15.)

[For the audio version of this homily, click here: Seventeenth Sunday 2018]

He went from almost becoming a king, to almost being completely abandoned.  I’m talking here about Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior—specifically the Jesus we read about in the 6^th chapter of the Gospel of St. John.  Today we heard the opening lines of that chapter, which tell the famous story of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes.  We will hear excerpts from the rest of John 6 in our gospel readings for the next 4 Sundays.  (It’s a really long chapter!)  In these opening lines that we heard a few moments ago, we were told that Jesus fed 5,000 people near the Sea of Galilee.  He fed them with bodily food.  He worked an incredible miracle, and gave them all a meal of fish and bread.

And they liked it so much that they wanted to make him their king (probably so that they could get a few more free meals!).  Jesus, of course, didn’t come down from heaven to be an earthly ruler of an earthly kingdom, so before they could crown him he slipped away and hid himself on a nearby mountain.

But Jesus saw this same crowd again the following day; this time on the opposite shore of the Sea of Galilee.  And there he began to speak to them about another food that he intended to give them in the very near future: a spiritual food that would bring them eternal life, namely, the Holy Eucharist. 

Which caused most of the men and women in the crowd to (for lack of a better expression) “freak out”—especially when Jesus began to say things like, “My flesh is real food and my blood is real drink”; and “The bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world”; and “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood you do not have life within you”; and, “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.”

The truth about the Holy Eucharist was too much for most of these people to handle, and so the majority of them walked away after Jesus gave this teaching—even some who had been following our Lord for quite a while.  The text says, “As a result of this [teaching], many [of] his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.”

Thankfully, the twelve Apostles did remain faithful to our Lord, even though at the time they didn’t fully understand the message Jesus had given.  When Jesus asked the Twelve if they were going to leave too, Peter said, “Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.”

But most of the other followers of our Lord did not continue in their discipleship.  They “threw in the towel” as his followers—perhaps forever (although we can hope and pray that at least some of them eventually returned).

Which brings us to Pope Paul VI.  Blessed Paul VI, who will be canonized a saint later this year, understood what Jesus went through in John, chapter 6, in a way that most of us (thankfully) never will.  Pope Paul had what I would call his “John 6 moment” fifty years ago this past week, when he published an encyclical entitled “Humanae vitae” (which in Latin means, “Of Human Life”).  In that document, which is mostly about the beauty and dignity of marriage, the Holy Father did what many people were convinced he would not dare to do in the midst of the sexual revolution: he reaffirmed the traditional Christian teaching condemning the use of artificial contraception—even within marriage.  Now notice that I call it “the traditional Christian teaching” as opposed to “the traditional Catholic teaching.”  I do that because, prior to 1930, most (if not all) mainline Protestants believed the very same thing that Catholics believed: that contraception is immoral.

Many Protestants (and many Catholics!) today are not aware of that fact—but it’s true.  This was a universal Christian belief.

Then at their Lambeth Conference of 1930, the bishops of the Anglican Church caved in to social pressure.  They decided that contraception could be morally acceptable in some limited circumstances.  Well, shortly thereafter “some circumstances” turned into “all circumstances”—and every other mainline Protestant church followed suit.

Which is where we’re at today.  What ALL Christians believed about contraception for over 19 centuries, only the Catholic Church still believes and still teaches today—thanks, in large part, to the courage of Paul VI.

But he suffered for it—from July 25, 1968 (the day he published Humanae vitae) until August 6, 1978 (the day he died).  Like Jesus in John 6, Pope Paul had to deal with opposition from people in his own flock—especially the intellectuals, who wasted no time in stirring up an internal rebellion in the Church—a rebellion that’s had a negative effect on Catholic life in the United States for the last 5 decades.  Within a week of the encyclical’s publication, more than 600 theology professors from around the country signed a “statement of dissent” objecting to what the Pope said in the document.  And it’s gone on from there, such that now only 20% of Catholics accept the traditional Christian teaching.

Which is one of the reasons why the divorce rate among Catholics right now is pretty much the same as the divorce rate in the rest of society.  Catholic couples who practice Natural Family Planning, on the other hand—who do follow Church teaching—have an almost non-existent divorce rate.

A coincidence?

Not according to Blessed Paul VI.  The Holy Father warned the Church and the world that when you separate the unitive and procreative dimensions of the marital act through artificial contraception, certain consequences—though unintended—naturally follow.  He accurately predicted in Humanae vitae that an acceptance of birth control would lead to an increase in sexual promiscuity and marital infidelity; that men would begin to treat women more and more as objects to be used for their own selfish pleasure; and that people would be pressured and even forced at times by civil governments to limit the size of their families.

Pope Paul VI was laughed at and ridiculed when he said these things in 1968, as I’m sure Jesus was laughed at and ridiculed when he gave that teaching on the Eucharist 2,000 years ago.  But the Holy Father was right!  He was right on every count.

What was supposed to empower women and strengthen marriages has had the exact opposite effect in the last fifty years.  The widespread use of contraception (even by practicing Catholics) has resulted in the further objectification of women, an increase in adultery, more broken marriages and families, a greater number of sexually-transmitted diseases (some of which are life-threatening), and a divorce rate that is sky high.

So, contrary to what you’ll normally hear (especially in the secular media), soon-to-be St. Paul VI was a man ahead of his time.  He was a humble, courageous and steadfast prophet of God, who spoke the truth about married love and the transmission of life to a world that desperately needed to hear it.

And still does.

My Three ‘Go-to Verses’

(Fourteenth Sunday of the Year (B): This homily was given on July 8, 2018 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I., by Fr. Raymond Suriani.  Read Ezekiel 2: 2-5; Psalm 123; 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10; Mark 6: 1-6.)

[For the audio version of this homily, click here: Fourteenth Sunday 2018]

You could call them my “go-to verses”: three verses of the New Testament that I call to mind quite often—especially in the midst of trial and difficulty and temptation.  These verses give me strength, and hope—and perspective (which is always a help when you’re dealing with a challenging and difficult situation in your life).

In doing this I’m taking the advice St. Paul gave to Christians in Ephesians 6 when he said, “In all circumstances hold faith up before you as your shield; it will help you extinguish the fiery darts of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, the word of God.”

For St. Paul the word of God was, among other things, a weapon: a weapon that we should use to battle all those things that Satan will use to try to destroy us: fear, anger, doubt, confusion, lust, greed, etc.  Of course, to use this weapon effectively, you have to first of all know what the word of God says (which means you have to be reading your Bible), you then have to believe what you read in the word, and finally you have to cling to the truth that you find in the word.

We have a great example of this, not surprisingly, in Jesus himself.  As we all know, our Lord prepared for his three-year ministry by fasting for forty days and forty nights in the Judean desert.  When he finally finished that fast he had to have been tired, physically weak—and extremely hungry.  Satan was well aware of this, and tried to take advantage of the situation by tempting Jesus: by tempting him to say no to the mission the Father had given him to die on the cross and save the human race.

Notice how Jesus resisted the three temptations that Satan threw at him.  He did it by the power of the word; he successfully resisted the temptations of the devil by quoting Scripture to him.

• ·         Satan said, “Command that these stones become loaves of bread.”  Jesus said, “One does not by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.”  (That’s Deuteronomy 8:3.)
• ·         Then the devil took him to the top of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. [The angels will catch you.]”—to which Jesus responded “You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.”  (That’s Deuteronomy 6:16.)
• ·    Finally the devil tried to get Jesus to worship him by bribing our Lord with earthly power.  By then Jesus had had enough!  He said, “Get away, Satan!  It is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord, your God; him alone shall you serve.’”    (That’s Deuteronomy 6:13.)

Here we have Jesus using the word of God like a sword to repel the attacks of the evil one.  I suppose you could say that these verses of Scripture were three of our Lord’s “go-to” Bible verses.

But it really doesn’t matter what you call them; the point to remember is that they worked!  Here Jesus, I believe, is giving us an example to imitate, an example that St. Paul obviously followed in his own life, as that text from Ephesians 6 that I read to you earlier indicates.

I mention this today because one of my three “go-to verses” is found in today’s second reading.  It’s 2 Corinthians 12:9, and it reads, “My grace is always sufficient for you, for in weakness power reaches perfection.”  Here St. Paul is talking about his “thorn in the flesh”—which was some kind of trial or suffering that God allowed him to experience, at least from time to time.  The word in Greek that Paul uses there is “skolop”.  It’s usually translated as “thorn,” but many Scripture scholars will tell you that the word is more accurately translated as “stake”.

So what was this “thorn” or “stake” in the flesh that troubled St. Paul so much?

Well, we don’t know for sure.  Some say it was the persecutions Paul often experienced when he preached the Gospel; others say it was a temptation to pride or lust or some other sin; still others say that it was a physical ailment of some kind, perhaps something that had to do with his eyes.  They say that because in Galatians 4:15 Paul wrote, “Indeed, I can testify to you that, if it had been possible, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me.”

Whatever it was, it must have been pretty bad, since Paul prayed hard (and more than once) for God to take it away.

But the Lord didn’t take it away.  He didn’t remove the stake.  For some reason (probably Paul’s growth in holiness) the Lord allowed it to continue—as he allows us to experience certain ongoing trials in our lives (which are supposed to help US grow in holiness!).

And yet, even though God didn’t take the thorn away, he promised Paul that he would always be there to give him the strength, the power and the help he needed to deal successfully with it. 

“In your weakness, Paul, my power reaches its perfection.”

When I face a trial or difficulty in my life, I imagine Jesus saying those same words to me: “My grace is always sufficient for you, Fr. Ray, for in your weakness my power within you reaches its perfection.”

2 Corinthians 12:9—it’s a great “go-to verse”.

My other two “go-to verses” are 1 John 4:4 and Philippians 4:13.  1 John 4:4 reads, “The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”  Now, when I call that verse to mind I always personalize it for myself: “Greater is he who is in me [namely, Jesus] than he who is in the world [the devil].”  That verse gives me a special strength and confidence in dealing with the evil I encounter in the world—and in dealing with temptation.  It reminds me that the power of God is always greater than the power of evil; it’s also greater than the power of the temptation to do evil (which can sometimes feel very strong, as we all know).

And lastly there’s Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”  That verse reminds me that I need to trust in Jesus and rely on him in every aspect of my life, especially in challenging situations; in other words, in those circumstances when I begin to doubt my ability to do what I need to do.  Now I’m sure that St. Paul wrote these words based on his own personal experience of sharing the Gospel.  As we all well aware, St. Paul was not always “affirmed” in his apostolic ministry!  As he said in one of his letters, he was stoned once, beaten with rods three times, and scourged with forty lashes five times—among other things.  I’m sure that there were moments in the midst of all those trials when he wondered if he would have the strength to continue the mission God had given him.

But the strength came, and in the process the Lord taught him this lesson—which he shared with the Philippians 2,000 years ago and which he shares with us today: “I, Paul, can do all things—not by my own willpower and strength; rather I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me with his saving grace.”

I need to think that same thought about myself quite often—especially when the task at hand seems too great for me, and I wonder, “How am I going to do this?”

These are my three “go-to verses” (2 Corinthians 12:9; 1 John 4:4; and Philippians 4:13).

What are yours?  If you don’t have them—if you don’t have any “go-to verses” at the present time—my suggestion is that you read your Bible (especially the New Testament) and allow God to give you some. And he will!  You’ll be reading along and all of a sudden a verse will jump out at you and you’ll say, “That’s it!  That’s one of them.  That’s something I need to remember and be reminded of—especially in difficult situations.”

Then memorize the verse—and begin to use it.