(Ash Wednesday 2018: This homily was given on February 14,
2018 at St. Pius X Church, Westerly, R.I., by Fr. Raymond Suriani. Read
Joel 2: 12-18; Psalm 51; 2 Corinthians 5: 20-6: 2; Matthew 6: 1-18.)
[For the audio version of this homily, click here: Ash Wednesday 2018]
It’s both meaningful and providential that Ash Wednesday falls on St. Valentine’s Day
this year—because if there’s one thing that most of the world is totally
mixed-up about it’s the meaning of love. Love, contrary to popular belief, is not a
synonym for sex. It’s not a reward for
being good (or, at least, it shouldn’t be).
It’s not an emotion (although when we love we sometimes might experience
good feelings).
Real
love is an act of the will. Real love is
a decision. It’s a decision to desire and to seek the good for another person. Parents, for example, are said to love their
children when they seek what’s truly good for them. They love their children when they selflessly
make the sacrifices that help their children to grow spiritually, emotionally
and physically.
Real
love, therefore, is not selfish; it’s selfless. If you truly love someone you put that person
before yourself (as good parents put their children before themselves, and
their children’s needs before their own).
Real
love is also patient. If you truly love another person you’ll make
every effort to be patient with them when they don’t fully meet your
expectations (which will probably be quite often!).
Real
love is forgiving. If you truly love another person, you’ll be
willing to forgive them when they disappoint you or offend you in some way
(which they will certainly do—at least from time to time—because they’re not
perfect).
And
finally, real love is self-sacrificial. Real love is about giving yourself, in care
and service, to others. As Jesus told
us, “Greater love than this nobody has, than to lay down his life for his
friends.”
St.
Valentine was a man who demonstrated this kind of love in his life. He lived in Rome in the third century,
and it was there that he gave the ultimate witness to his love for Jesus Christ
and the Church through his martyrdom.
So
what does this have to do with Ash Wednesday and Lent?
Well,
this is precisely what Lent is about (or, at least, this is what Lent is supposed to be about!). Love. Our
disciplines and sacrifices during this holy season are supposed to help us to
grow in our love for God and one
another. That’s their purpose.
Their
purpose is not to make us miserable and ornery because we're giving up things that we enjoy!
This,
by the way, is why getting to confession during Lent is so important! Confession either strengthens—or
re-establishes—our bond of love with
the Lord. Real love, as I said earlier,
is forgiving. God, in his great love for
us, wants to forgive us! He wants to
forgive us more than we want to be forgiven!
He wants to forgive us for every sin we’ve ever committed.
But
we have to ask for that forgiveness! He will not force it on us. He respects our freedom to much to do that.
So
today, on this Ash Wednesday morning, we ask St. Valentine to pray for us—that
we will have a good Lent, a fruitful Lent, a love-filled Lent: 40 days of
growing in our love for God and others that will make us better men, better women,
better disciples of Jesus Christ when Lent is over—and for the rest of our
lives.
